The Vortex

Right now life as a mother of two small children is totally wonderful, fulfilling, and overwhelming at the same time. Oliver and Emma make me laugh, smile, they make my heart full, and sometimes they also make me want to collapse in defeat. Jeff is content with our little family just as it is, and I imagine having one more baby DOWN THE ROAD. After law school, after Oliver and Emma are a little easier (does that actually happen, or is everyone just lying to me?)and after we have a home and a tad more financial stability.

Let's just imagine for a nanosecond that we don't have any more children... what then?? What on earth happens when you pass through the vortex of diaper changing, sleepless nights, learning to walk, talk, eat, go on the potty etc...? I will be wondering what to do with myself! You have to remember that my life has been all about taking care of children. I was a Nanny for a very long time, and then had children of my own. Not having small children around me would be like not having a limb or two. I am not suggesting that I will want to keep having more and more children - 3 sounds great. I certainly don't want to transition directly from having small kids to having grandkids without a break. That would be weird. I just don't know what I am going to do with myself when Oliver no longer needs his snuggles first thing every morning, and Emma no longer thinks it's the greatest thing to give Mommy hugs and kisses.

I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful family. Jeff, Ollie and Emma totally complete me. Until #3 comes along anyway. Then we'll be for sure, one hundred percent, totally complete. Right?